December 15, 2010

What’s really my issue? 

2010 is ending, and like most people I am beginning to consider my “New Year’s Resolutions” ::sigh:: What I don’t want to do is continue on this noncommittal path that I am on right now. I had the bright idea to create a blog---a blog that would document my weight loss journey. Bright idea---because what I failed to realize is that in order to document a weight loss journey, one must actually commit to losing weight!! (Can we see a pattern here?) So maybe we should begin fresh and brand new, I mean it is a New Year right? (Well not actually, but I don’t need the calendar to be on Jan 1 to start anew)

Let’s start from the beginning---My name is Kyra and this is my story. I have always had a “struggle” with my weight in the sense that I had a lot of self esteem issues growing up and I was always a little thick. Accredited to the build of the women in my family, I accepted that I may not ever fit the BMI/Height-Weight chart that says a female my age and height should weigh about 110-120lbs (yeah right!). Anyhow, throughout high school in 2004 I was a comfortable size 10—at least that is what size my prom dress was---fluctuating between 150-160 lbs. I was medium active in high school, playing tennis, golf, cheerleading and dance over the 4 years. However in college I gradually gained weight, reaching my highest weight of gaining 40-50 lbs in one school year. I nearly failed my sophomore year and spent my junior year eating my way off of academic probation. My activity level dropped significantly and my eating habits got worst. Currently, I have in addition to my college weight, gained about 15 additional pounds as a result of my current profession---and my lack of self control. I currently work as a consultant and I travel about 2-3 weeks out of the month for at least 3 days per trip. I usually receive about $44 a day in paid food expenses…(got an idea of how much take- out food I eat?)

So what sparked this new train of thought? I am 23 years young and beginning to be concerned about my health and my habits; and I am frankly becoming embarrassed by the apparent “letting go” I’ve done. Though I am not experiencing self esteem issues, I do find it harder to shop for my new body type and I just don’t feel as comfortable carrying this additional weight. Like I said, when given the opportunity, I love to participate in certain sports, but I am noticing my breathing increasing and just frankly I am too out of shape to keep up---especially when it comes to playing my first love---tennis. Additionally, several diseases are common in my family on both my father and mother’s sides. All preventable diseases, high blood pressure, diabetes, strokes, etc, I am afraid to contract any of these conditions simply because I cannot stop eating.

So what’s the plan? Well eat less work out more? I’ve tried that, and I think I need to explore a more lifestyle inclusive, discipline driven approach. I tried weight watchers, and with the help of my mother, I lost nearly 20 lbs, however, the strict calorie counting was not conducive to my lifestyle and therefore, I gained the weight back plus a couple of pounds.

I would like to take a new approach to this blog than I originally sought, and I would like to genuinely make myself more accountable for changes that I yearn to see. I know these words are merely words across your screen---however, I think I am going to try and document more frequently, therefore increasing my accountability. I plan to post before after pictures, methodologies, exercises, recipes, and lifestyle tips as I continue on this journey.

Step 1: as I sit on this plane,  DCA to DTW…I will throw out these 2 double chocolate chunk cookies w white chocolate, and enjoy the sugar snap peas and carrots I packed in my purse on my way home; but only if I feel hungry. I need to begin to eat when I feel hungry and not just to keep myself busy….

One small step for Ky…stay tuned.

I know I know I know...

So this post is a little different. I wanted to have a blog that was full of my weight loss journey, full of recipes and OMG moments; weigh ins, pictures and discussion topics for everyone to provide feedback...but I didn't. I created this blog because I was not brave enough to complete this journey alone, and also because I am scared to finally start something and stick with it.

Well apparently I'm having trouble sticking to anything b/c I am just now updating my blog after about two months. I dont have any major updates except that my life is at a 10 right now with obligations. I am beginning to identify stressors in my life and I am trying to ease my nerves to a point that I am more in control of my habits. I am determined to create a lifestyle change with my health.

I hear the scariest step is the first one...sigh

Sept 19 - 22, 2010

So I look back on my previous posts and I'm realizing that I have a lot of external measures in place for me to conquer this weight gaining demon head on. But there is still something holding me back. I'm praying so hard for the strength to just do better and be motivated.

I've been at home all of this week. Proud of myself b/c I haven't eaten take out all week! I have cooked or eaten a portion controlled meal this entire week. I even went out and played tennis a couple of times with my HS tennis coach. As I embark on this journey, I am beginning to get a better feel for doing the things that I want to do. I know it sounds jovial, but, I am often a person to just do whatever, without much conviction or passion. I'll just do it, no big deal. But I'm hoping to change that mentality for the better. Playing tennis is truly one of the physical activities that I look forward to doing. I could probably play tennis everyday all day for the rest of my life, it is my passion. Playing with my coach on Sunday wore me out, and frankly it embarrassed me, that the sport I could once play for hours on end, had me nearly vomiting after a few volleys. It was devastating, but motivating. I woke up sore as all get out on Monday morning, but my coach and I played tennis again Monday evening. Coupling these workouts with the 6am walk my mom, my aunt, and I do every morning, I'm building very active habits. My homegirl and I even opened a membership at a local gym and set up time with a personal trainer. And I'm adding the Insanity workout to my P90x and Zumba DVD collection.

Again the external measures are in place, and now I'm just searching for the strength I know lies within.

September 12th- 16th (-1.6lbs)

Hellllllllo North Carolina!!!

This week was the second week I was on the road for work, since committing to this blog. But, it was the first week that I decided to be proactive on my work trips. I may have mentioned before, but part of my weight loss struggle is that my job requires me to travel so much. Airport food is dangerous, let alone having a job that basically tells you its okay to eat out for every meal, while you are on the road--as long as its under $44. So for this trip I made "mini meals" and packed a lunch. I literally went to Meijers, bought a lunch box, and dropped it in my suitcase. My lunch included, raisins, 90 cal granola bars, granola pieces, sugar free/fat free jello and 2 of my mini meals. My mini meals (see pictures) included either groud turkey or baked chicken breast, green peppers, onions, broccoli, and pasta spirals.

My original thought with the mini meals, was just the size of the container I was using. I use 9.6 oz containers and I assumed if I reduced my portion size, regardless to what I eat I will be doing better than what I was eating before. I try to eat only one serving of whatever out of this mini meal container. Also, I made the mini meals to sit in the freezer so that even while I was home, and my grocery shopping time is limited because I may be on the road again soon, I would have something that I just had to throw in the microwave and be on my way.

So to document my journey in North Carolina last week, with my lunch. It went well, I ate out 1 meal everyday, and mostly because they were NC favorites (BoJangles and Waffle House), and I PROBABLY could (should) have done without them. I also only drank water or Coke or Sprite zero. I think the Zero's better than diet pop and now I'm more acclimated to the taste. As far as working out, I didn't work out too much this week. I honestly don't have an acceptable excuse, but I had very early mornings and late evenings, and I was just tired. I know I have to do better.

But I am proud to announce that I am officially closer to my goal---and down 1.6lbs...My new approach is to take it slow so that these changes become embedding in my everyday lifestyle. NO RUSH!!

Sept 9, 2010

I usually have an early start to my day, either on purpose or not on purpose. This morning I had to be up and ready at the hospital for a 7am meeting. I went to bed around 10 pm and woke up to my alarm at 430am. I had all intentions of going downstairs to the fitness center, but I just didn’t make it. I laid in bed and thought about a few things, and ended up falling back to sleep. I wasn’t really tired, but I ended up waking back up at 6am. Now this is weird, but anytime I’m in a hotel room, I usually get a king sized bed or a suite, so I often have lots of space. For this trip I also brought my Zumba dvds to play just in case I didn’t feel like going to the fitness center, so where, why and how I dropped the ball---I just can’t explain. As a result, while headed to the shower I passed a huge full length mirror---ironically I was sleeping in my workout clothes (tshirt and sweats) because I forgot to bring pajamas, so I stopped and did a few squats (3 sets of 15) before I headed to the bathroom. Not much but trust me I was feeling it though out the day.

As far as food, I did good today, for breakfast I had plain yogurt with peaches and granola in it, an almond sweet and salty bar, and a bottle of vitamin water. It held me over throughout the day, but I skipped lunch due to my workload. I decided to grab some food at the airport—and it ended up being popeyes…I know terrible decision, but I didn’t order any extra sides (not even a biscuit!), I ordered white pieces of meat, I didn’t eat the skin, and I had a coke zero with it. Although I was upset with myself, I was satisfied that I was able to make the healthier of the decisions. At the airport I also grabbed a sprite zero and some honey teddy grahams (I had a layover).

Sept 8, 2010

Today was exhausting. After coming in late last night, I was very proud of myself for not stopping by a fast food place to munch while I drive. I found that I was not hungry at all, but I felt the impulse to get food, since I had an hour drive. I don’t know if I had an anxiety about falling asleep while driving, or what. I just know that I didn’t want to stop driving until I got to the hotel. I spoke to my boyfriend during the drive and I flat out told him, I would hate to have to stop at this McDonalds right by my hotel. I told him that I wasn’t really hungry, but I would probably stop. I had no rhyme or reason as to why, and the only thing that may possibly make sense is that, when I am traveling I feel obligated to eat something once I arrive to my destination. It is illogical and I must stop that train of thought as I progress through this journey. As a result, I arrived at my hotel at about 12:30a and the McDonald’s near the hotel was closed, but I opted to get a snack size chex mix and a diet lipton green tea instead. I only nibbled and sipped on both before I was out for the count. As I write I think I am seeing the problem.

I arrived at the hospital at 8am today, and I had plain yogurt with peaches and granola and a water for breakfast. This kept me full until about 1pm where I had a turkey sandwich on multigrain bread w/ provolone, tomatoes and lettuce, and light Dijon mustard, along with a side salad and another bottle of water. I ordered to go at a local pub for dinner. I got some loaded fries and shrimp scampi. I ate the shrimp and not so much of the pasta and I ate about a fourth of the loaded potatoes. I really didn’t have an appetite for the potatoes, but they looked good on the menu so I ordered it. I also had a fanta orange. Let’s talk about self control. Apparently its lacking, because I can consciously look back and say that I did not have enough vegetables today or enough water. But hindsight is always 20/20 right?

After dinner I was very tired from the traveling and the long and strenuous work day I had. I had some more work to do and Top Model came on at 8pm, so I decided to stay in my room and do a few stretches/exercises there. I can remember the dance stretch from when I danced at King and I did that just to relax a little bit and I did some crunches, about 100, 4 sets of 25.

Sept 7, 2010

I started this blog for several different reasons. The main on being to build accountability for myself. I also started it because I was curious to learn how many people would actually read, follow, and support me as I went through this journey. I also never commit and follow through with things, so I figured this would be my first step at becoming a better Kyra. I have been thinking of how I wanted to structure this blog and I'm not really sure, but I'm going to try and document everything in my life related to my weight. For recipes, food diaries, to exercises, questions and discussion, and emotion triggers and impulses. I'm going to be real with you :-) I would love for this blog to help me lose weight weight; but I will be inspired if my blog is able to help someone else.