So I look back on my previous posts and I'm realizing that I have a lot of external measures in place for me to conquer this weight gaining demon head on. But there is still something holding me back. I'm praying so hard for the strength to just do better and be motivated.
I've been at home all of this week. Proud of myself b/c I haven't eaten take out all week! I have cooked or eaten a portion controlled meal this entire week. I even went out and played tennis a couple of times with my HS tennis coach. As I embark on this journey, I am beginning to get a better feel for doing the things that I want to do. I know it sounds jovial, but, I am often a person to just do whatever, without much conviction or passion. I'll just do it, no big deal. But I'm hoping to change that mentality for the better. Playing tennis is truly one of the physical activities that I look forward to doing. I could probably play tennis everyday all day for the rest of my life, it is my passion. Playing with my coach on Sunday wore me out, and frankly it embarrassed me, that the sport I could once play for hours on end, had me nearly vomiting after a few volleys. It was devastating, but motivating. I woke up sore as all get out on Monday morning, but my coach and I played tennis again Monday evening. Coupling these workouts with the 6am walk my mom, my aunt, and I do every morning, I'm building very active habits. My homegirl and I even opened a membership at a local gym and set up time with a personal trainer. And I'm adding the Insanity workout to my P90x and Zumba DVD collection.
Again the external measures are in place, and now I'm just searching for the strength I know lies within.
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